Sideswipe by Charles Willeford

Author:Charles Willeford [Willeford, Charles]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9780312001889
Published: 2011-03-20T05:00:00+00:00

Aileen, wrapped in a bath towel, came out of the bathroom, noticed the couple in the doorway, and quickly dodged back inside. Farnsworth and Dolly Turner left, and a few minutes later, Aileen, in jeans and a T-shirt, came out of the bathroom.

"Who was that with Mr. Farnsworth, Daddy?"

"Dolly Turner. She's going to be living with him until she's saved up enough money to rent her own place. She just got a job at the Sheraton, and he was good enough to take her in."

"But they aren't married. Isn't it against the law to rent to an unmarried couple?"

"They aren't exactly a couple. He's renting the place, not her, so she's merely his guest."

"But isn't it against the law for two people to sleep together if they aren't married?"

"No. They can sleep together. There's no law against that. But fornication between them is against the law. In fact, the missionary position is the only position allowed by law in Florida, and even then you have to be married. But it's a law that's rarely enforced."

"What's the missionary position?"

"That's when the woman lies on her back, and the man gets on top."

Aileen giggled. "That ain't the only way they do it up in Vero Beach."

"_Isn't_, you mean, or anywhere else. But that's the Florida law. It just isn't enforced, that's all."

"If they did, it would sure spoil things in the parking lot at Beach High." Aileen laced up her running shoes and went to the door. "I'm gonna go out for a while and walk off that sandwich and mango."

"Aren't you going to ride your bike?" Aileen's new bicycle was wedged between her Bahama bed and the wall.

"I'm just gonna walk around the mall. But tomorrow I'm gonna clean out that old office downstairs and keep it down there. The apartment's too crowded, and if I leave it outside somebody'll steal it, chain and all."

"That's a good project for you. The dumpster people come on Tuesday, so I'll help you tomorrow. Most of the stuff in there is junk anyway. If we clean it up, maybe we can use it as an office again."

After Aileen left, Hoke was restless. He slapped his chest with both hands, and then he slapped his front pockets. He shook his head when he realized that he was feeling for his cigarettes, although he had no real desire to smoke one. He hadn't had a cigarette since the first day of his mid-life crisis, and he didn't really want one now, except that was what he had always done when he was bored or restless-- smoke a cigarette. To give his hands something to do he went into the kitchen and cleaned the burners with a wet Brillo pad. As the foam formed between his fingers he recalled a description of eating pussy he had read in a novel last year. The description had been exaggerated, but the fact that he was thinking about pussy again was a good sign. He would have to do something about that, as soon as he got things organized around the El Pelicano.

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